Death Notice /Ode to Ute

It is with great pleasure that I announce the upcoming death of Mi Uterus. Ms. Uterus has led a very unproductive life and has caused much grief to her owner Michelle Bassford. Ms. Uterus has been on various life support systems for many years, to no avail. She leaves behind her two very close ovarian friends, Estro and Gen.

The ceremony will take place at the skilled hands of Dr. Paul Wu, OBGYN at Joseph Brant Hospital in Burlington on Tuesday, January 4th at 8:00 a.m. An extended mourning period of 3-5 weeks will follow the ceremony where Michelle Bassford will dress in bright colors unlike the traditional black. Immediately following the mourning period, a celebration will be ongoing in the form of an active sex life! No guests are invited. A constant grin will be noticeable on the face of Michelle Bassford by friends and family for many years to come.

An organ donor card has been previously signed and as an alternate sentence, an unwilling member of Female Correctional Facility will take ownership of Ute where this prisoner will endure the same wrath as Ms. Bassford has for the past 3 decades. Our prayers are with this inmate.